Passion and Happiness

There is a viewpoint in our culture that in order for someone to be successful they must work very hard, sacrifice a great deal, be without friends, miss out on important family moments, suffer from high cholesterol and heart problems, and basically choose between quality of life or success. The same applies to artistic and creative people; they should be socially awkward, impractical and suffer from wild mood-swings.

Over the last few decades numerous studies have analysed what makes a person successful; in business, in artistic endeavors, in any field.  Similar studies have been done in the field of happiness. What makes a person happy: is it money, power, friends, success, intelligence, values? Incredibly enough, studies contradict the mythology surrounding both success and happiness.  Despite these two being what most people in life strive for, as a species we suck at knowing how to achieve either.

Interviews with successful people, and interviews with happy people tend to reveal very similar trends. The most successful people are usually also very happy.  They are typically not living the Hollywood life - they may spend their days at an office, in a studio, in a refugee camp or performing research.  They are often not the most glamorous or fashionable people.  They are often not at all wealthy, or at least not living a wealthy lifestyle. What does unite them is they chose to do something different, something which fascinated them.

In each case, the successful person listened to and cultivated their curiosity.  They turned down safe jobs. They chose to pursue a life different from those around them, and to devote their energies and talents to perfection in whichever area fascinated them.  In the process they experienced months and years of failure, sometimes rejection, sometimes a lack of acceptance in 'normal' society.  When, years later, they emerged with a discovery, an invention, a new viewpoint or something radical they became celebrities.  Celebrated for how amazing they were, how special, how few of us are capable of doing what they have done.  

It is true.  How many of us are willing to give up the status quo, to seek a life outside of the normal career path to follow some vague dream inside? We continue to believe in the Hollywood dream that if I find some glamorous, beautiful, wealthy person and meet celebrities and by association become one myself, that I will be happy.  

What in fact studies are demonstrating, successful and happy people have already figured out, and we should all pay attention to, is that if we truly wish to be happy we need to learn what makes us unique.  We need to devote ourselves to cultivating our talents and using them in the best way possible.  We will have to struggle, to forge new paths, to step outside of our comfort zones.  We will have a life which appears hard and uncomfortable.  We may become successful.  What we will be, is happy.

How do we solve poverty?!?

I recently read a book entitled "In the River They Swim".  It's a collection of essays from many of the world's leading development experts.  The essays don't offer the solution to global poverty, nor do they explain how to solve corruption or improve entrepreneurship. Some of the essays speak of failure or personal difficulty in adjusting to cultures, learning to respect another viewpoint or attempting to improve a situation.  

So often we are offered THE solution to poverty.  We need to double aid to certain countries, we need to cancel debts, we need to all go over there and spend our time helping out.  Notice how it's all about US? YOU? ME?  What the development experts have realised, and what their essays are discussing, is that not one of us has THE solution.

The solution doesn't exist!  What WE can do, is to speak with people living in different circumstances, we can figure out what is holding them back from creating opportunities or taking advantage of existing opportunities, we can offer education, our experience, we can help them to think through the situation.  Ultimately, we are only guides. It is up to us to observe, to learn, to offer assistance; it is up to those living in the situation to act.

To read essay after essay written by brilliant people, with decades of experience - who, looking through their resumes, have concretely changed hundreds and thousands of lives for the better through their work, and to have those people admit that they don't have the solution is eye opening.  If only we could all have the humility to realise our limitations and to offer what resources and knowledge we do have to those who are capable of alleviating poverty in ways that I and you never can.

In my own travels, I speak with youth who are incredibly capable, passionate and dedicated to improving their societies.  I am continuously asked, "what can we do to improve?" At first, I answered I didn't know, because I didn't know their societies, their culture, what opportunities they had, the difficulties with which they were faced. I was clueless.  Now, I answer that I don't know, because the more I learn the less I am able to offer some quick solution. There are so many areas that need focus, and it will take each person within the society using their strengths and skills to make it better. In the meantime, it will take a very few people working very hard to inspire others to join them.

How encouraging for me, and for everyone working on these issues to read examples of what has worked in different places all over the world - sometimes in the most impossible situations where no one thought there was any hope for improvement.  On top of that, how encouraging to know that I can continue to learn and work with people all over the world and that I will never have the answer.  What is important is that we observe, listen, begin - and when we fail we adjust and try again.  

Ultimate for Peace in Kenya

This coming August, Ultimate will be brought to 100 youth in Nairobi, Kenya for the first time! 

Last November as I travelled throughout Africa (always bringing my disc with me…) I played Ultimate in many countries teaching how to play and of course Spirit of the Game.  The comment that stuck in my mind from one person in Rwanda was:  “imagine if Africans, especially African leaders, could learn to call their own fouls and accept the call.”

World Youth Alliance Africa is hosting a conference in Nairobi, Kenya from Tuesday 4^th to Saturday 8^th August 2009 on the theme ‘Peace: Our Responsibility for Integral Development’. As part of the conference an Ultimate Workshop will be offered.

What better way to promote peace than through Ultimate and Spirit of the Game? Youth from throughout Kenya and Africa will learn about promoting the dignity of every person as the basis for peace, and hence development. They will also take home with them Ultimate and, through playing, make Spirit of the Game part of their local culture and mindset.

The Decade of Dignity and Development, WYA 1999-2009 is a celebration of ten years promoting the dignity of the person in development. The DDD celebrations are intended to unite young people, leaders in the public sector and best practices around the world to give them a global center stage.

I am looking to bring 100 discs with me to our Africa Region. I am also looking for donations to provide each of the participants with a jersey. Donations are tax deductible. WYA is a 501©3 registered nonprofit.

"The integrity of Ultimate depends on each player's responsibility to uphold the Spirit of the Game, and this responsibility should remain paramount."

“Ultimate relies upon a spirit of sportsmanship that places the responsibility for fair play on the player. Highly competitive play is encouraged, but never at the expense of mutual respect among competitors, adherence to the agreed upon rules, or the basic joy of play.”

Home for Christmas

This past December I drove 13 hours north of NYC with my sister, Anna, to go home for Christmas.  I hadn't been home in a full year, not since last Christmas.  We left at 8am from NY, and after 6 or so hours we finally found a Starbucks, and I splurged on a white chocolate mint mocha, or something along those lines - so yummy!

Leaving NY we got stuck in a snowstorm and just crawled along in the traffic, the farther north we got, the less people slowed down in the snow.  By the time I got within an hour of home, I was so sick of driving.  Anna was dj-ing and we'd stooped to singing along to cheesy 80's and musicals type music, which is great for staying awake to!  I'm sure numerous other drivers thought I was crazy as I'd be bouncing in the seat or thumping along to the music to stay awake.  At one point I thought I saw a woman at the side of the vehicle on a deserted stretch of highway, but it was the product of blinking too much or chocolate overdose - I refuse to watch horror movies and was so grateful in that moment since I'm sure there are tons on that theme and I would have been terrified!

Home sweet home, Mom had prepared delicious food, Dad had prepared one of his non-recipe specialties which tasted horrible and we left it all for him!  The holidays were so nice, so relaxing.  After arriving home to -20C weather, it warmed up substantially and all the beautiful snow in our backyard melted within a couple days.  We did go into the woods behind our house when they were still full of snow to find, what we all agreed, was our most hideous Charlie Brown tree ever.  It was so scraggly... I'd been hoping to go cross-country skiing but once the snow melted it would only snow a bit, blow and then melt again or turn icy.

The only bit of real excitement I had while home was driving home from Moncton one day.  I drove around a bit of a sharp turn and saw two vans taking it a bit wide coming in the opposite direction.  Not wanting to hit them, I swerved wide and hit a patch of slushy ice.  I managed to gain control and get back on the road just in time to aim for the second van.  Again, I swerved wide, this time lost control of the van and we flipped once into a ditch, hit the end of it and then flipped end over end to stop upside down.  Thankfully we were all wearing seat-belts.  Peter undid his first and fell onto Anna, Clare then undid hers and fell onto me.  We all unbuckled, Peter opened the door facing most upright, and we crawled out of the van.  In the van, I already started to call home, and we must have looked pretty funny crawling out of an upside down van in a ditch, with the wheels still spinning and me already on a cell phone.  

Only one of the vans I swerved to avoid stopped, saw us get out, and then took off immediately.  Thankfully two drivers following afterwards saw the van, stopped and waited with us till the cops arrived.  The van was totaled, my first accident and I did a marvelous job of destroying it.  We were so lucky to all be unhurt.  

A few days later I had to drive to Moncton again.  Driving alone in the car I had the radio on, and some cheesy song started playing about how memories never leave us.  As I started to get closer to the accident site, I was shaking and listening to the song and started crying.  Then I realised how ridiculous it would be if I were to cry over a cheesy song on the radio, and then crash again, so I dried up.  Going around the corner, I slowed right down and basically crawled my way through it.  I was so paranoid about ice afterwards that I would see it in the distance or on the side of the road and go out of my way to avoid it or go phenomenally slowly - old lady driver anyone?

Thanks to our whiplash we didn't end up skiing while I was home.  Thankfully Peter is a cool enough teenager that he invited his sisters to join him and his friends for some pond hockey a couple days later so we had a great time skating instead.  Now, I'm back in NY, still suffering from residual guilt whenever I think about what could have happened to my siblings and so grateful they're all safe.  Apart from that, life goes on.  For the first time in 3 years New York is actually getting snow!  So we had a delightful snowball fight with the interns a few days ago.

everywhere a sign, blocking out the scenery breaking my mind

It is said a sign is a window into the soul of a culture, no?

Perhaps these will convey a small glimpse of another culture...

Billboard over beauty shop in countryside, Uganda "God is Here"
"It is strictly prohibited to wash cars along roadside" - entering Uganda
"Welcome to Uganda, Keep Left" - entering Uganda
"God is Love" - Forex Bureau in Kigali, Rwanda
"Gain hips and bum, call #..." - Kampala, Uganda
"Find a lover, call #..." - Kampala, Uganda
"Focused, Courageous, Victorious - not even a Sugar Daddy can stop her. Cross-generational sex stops with you." - Billboard in downtown Kampala
"Priorities changing ahead" - traffic sign in Kampala
"Tipsy Wood, Preservation Center" - Eldoret, Kenya (is this a nature reserve or drunk trees?)
"Theme: Strategic Worship for Divine Restoration" - Christian worship center in Eldoret
" 'For' 'Your' 'Electricity Bill' " - Easy Pay Billboard in Nairobi, Kenya (I don't think I'm culturally savvy enough to understand what this is code for...)

And finally... this answer came from one of the participants during a conference as Irene used multiple examples to help participants understand the impact of human dignity. "What prevents us from peeing in the streets? Answer: Shame"

Whirlwind

I should have known better. Returning from Africa I was so excited to get to bed early, catch up on sleep and recover from the trip. I knew the first week likely would be exceedingly busy with catching up on all I'd put on hold while travelling and corresponding with new contacts, following up on new ideas. In preparing to leave I had, for the first time since starting to work for WYA, actually accomplished all I wanted to accomplish before leaving. I thought, consequently, that I could easily catch up upon return.

There have been great things to keep me busy. Lots of projects requiring some attention, speaking with the staff and hearing how they've all been doing over the previous few weeks, and other matters of great importance but little interest to anyone not me... This all means that sleep continues to wait for me. Being an optimist - I think I'll sleep lots this weekend :p

Last night, WYA partnered with IAV to host a photo exhibit showing Oman in a period of transition from traditional culture to modern conveniences. Many of the pictures were quite fascinating - if you live in NY here is a plug that you have 2 weeks more in which you can come and see them :) Afterwards we hosted a little party for Habib Malik, who was one of the guests of honour for the event, to get to know WYA staff and interns.

Best of all? We now have FOOD! Leftover party trays, and leftover food from post-party Trays. Um-mmm we'll all eat well for a few days.

Tonight, Bissy has invited me to attend an opera with her and one of the current interns. We'll go see Tchaikovsky's Queen of Spades. A little coffee pre-opera will likely be essential and then the music and story will have to take over!

ps. The picture is just one I love of my little brother and I looking exceedingly cool. No relation whatsoever with anything in this post.

The Little Things in Life

It's the small things in life that make a big difference, and also what take a bit of adjustment.

In London, I asked Simon where I could get some water to drink and he looked at me as though I were crazy "in the tap..." It was my first time in 3 weeks in which I could drink unboiled tap water.

Walking in the dark up the deserted hill to the observatory, I kept glancing around and felt as though it were a very unsafe thing to do. I finally confessed to Phil how odd it felt to realise that it was a perfectly safe thing to do.

Blending into a crowd again felt quite nice :)

Last night, as I briefly checked my emails, I commented to Aliah on how fast the internet was. She replied "oh, it got faster?" before realising that I was comparing it to my recent usage. Even the "high speed" internet cafes were a few minutes slower than high speed here in NY.

I have yet to take public transportation, but I will do my best to remember to stretch my legs out and wiggle my toes a bit in appreciation of space.

I ate uncooked greens and vegetables! Oh, how delightful that was... I've already had two salads in less than a day!

The cold is less than pleasant. I think if I had been here for the past month, I would have considered current temperatures to be quite mild for the time of year. Instead, I feel so very, very cold.

And the weirdest thing of all; I am no longer me. I have been waking up at 6:30/7:00am every morning! Last night I didn't go to 2 parties! That is not me... where am I?